Two Steps Forward, One Step Back…

The last few days since Miki got home from the hospital, where she was treated for pneumonia, were pretty good…all things considered.  She knitted, slept, watched some loaner movies, slept…you know, things you do to recoup from pneumonia.  But yesterday she was either riding high from a fresh batch of hemoglobin or just the thought of seeing her radiologist to help form a new plan for kicking cancer butt on Monday.  Either way, she used some of that energy to work her way to the shredder in the kitchen to shred some of that confidential correspondence that we all get in the mail that we don’t want to just throw away in the trash, until she jammed it.  She put away the latest shipment of dog food we got online from Mr. Chewy (I know, but they have cheap prices).  And if I remember correctly, she killed a few flies with the fly swatter too.  Sure she later collapsed from exhaustion, but that is how Miki rolls.  She was eating well and she even added Kellogg’s Frosted Flakes to the grocery list!  I haven’t had the cojones to do that for years.  But they returned with me from Hy-Vee for whenever she wants them.  One step forward.

We met with our oncologist on Thursday to form a new game plan to get after the cancer that seems to have not read the script of how this was supposed to go.  We were scheduled to meet with our beloved Dr. Keleti, the radiologist, on Monday to see how he could fit into this new picture.  And the tree house was coming along with the roof on, the windows in, and the door added today.  Two steps forward.

Then the sun rose on Sunday.  She felt somewhat lethargic, but was excited for a second ascent into the tree house to inspect the progress.  She opened the front door to visitors to check it out too.  She knew she was pushing it and by around three in the afternoon she still did not have the energy to head to the backyard, her little cheeks and nose were rosy, and she indeed had a temperature that drew her back to Centerpoint.  One step back.

We clicked into hospital mode and headed for the ER.  Again we were met with caring professionals that made everything feel doable.  We eventually got placed on the fifth floor (not our favorite sixth floor), met a nurse we had not had yet (shocker!), and settled in for an undetermined length of stay.

Passing the time in the ER while waiting for our concierge
to form our itinerary at this resort.
Is it just me or could two of Miki's heads fit in mine?

 As I have said a number of times now, Miki is the one with the attitude that keeps us moving forward.  She endures the pokes and the prods and hangs on to at least a little modesty, even though she said she lost it long ago, thanks to radiation techs and hospital gowns…it is the nature of this journey and she continues with a smile (when possible).

She doesn’t seem to wander into what-if-land like I do.  She keeps her eyes on the prize, which she knows better than anyone.  Me…my mind has gone everywhere more than once.  What brings me back is knowing Miki don’t go there!

I left Miki tonight for her fifth hospital stay.  I left with a list of things to bring back tomorrow.  And I left after kissing her on the forehead, where I have kissed her since June.  That will never be a “normal” kiss, but I’d rather my nasty germs not dirty the waters even more.  I drove the 5.5 miles home, petted Tuck and Tooga,  and had a big bowl of Kellogg’s Frosted Flakes.

My Zen from Home:  My Zen is out of the office until the next posting.  If this is an emergency, dial 911.  If you want this Zen in Spanish, press 2 now.  If your check engine light just came on, you don’t need me, you need a mechanic.  Leave your name and number and I will get back to you as soon as I can, thanks for reading!

Imagine windows where there are none, but you don't
have to imagine the metal roof!