Time is something we have a
lot of since retiring and nowadays some of that time is spent in an infusion
room watching Miki get infused with a parade of chemicals with names like
Ativan, Cisplatin, and Etoposide.
During some of this time when Miki is dozing, I’ll read until I start to
drift off (works out to be a couple of pages! Obviously I am not a voracious reader.), I will mess around
on my computer until my eyes feel like they are bulging, maybe peruse a
magazine, and then there’s spacing off out the window or towards an empty
corner of the room. The latter is
when my mind wanders.
Yesterday, as my mind began
to wander, it occurred to me that Miki and I are a team of two. I was going to say an army of two, but
that sounds a little foreboding.
We’ve been a team of two for a long time now. Aside from family and friends supporting us through the
years as family and friends do. At
night when we lock the front door, it is the two of us (no offense to our
dogs). So for the most part, we
are each other’s main source of support as cheerleader, therapist, good cop/bad
cop, and a long line of other cheesy descriptors. As a team, our morale can use a boost now and then just as
any group of people that work together and depend on each other on a daily
basis. Teams of people in
corporate settings, school settings, or family settings all need and lean on
each other in ways that are not always apparent, but when things get out of sync,
its like throwing a pebble in a pool of water…the effects radiate outwards to
anyone and anything in its way.
Since I was a teacher, it is easy for me to relate this to a school
setting. If my team wasn’t in sync
for some reason, we may not communicate effectively, my students could sense it
as a shark senses blood in the water, and I may not be “on” to most effectively
influence my students academically, socially, or emotionally. So being in sync needs support to be
sustained. In a school situation,
that support may come from other teachers, your principal, or even
superintendents. I remember when
“casual Friday” dress was eliminated; moral plummeted over something as simple
as not being able to wear jeans on Fridays. When it was reinstated, you could almost sense an attitude
of success that transferred into the classroom and among staff members. It wasn’t a pay raise; it wasn’t more
time to work in our classrooms vs. attending half inflated meetings…it was the
opportunity to wear an idea of casual comfort in the form of denim and gives a break to the idea that how you dress commands respect. I didn’t realize that topic was still so close to the
surface, so I will back away from the soapbox.
Over the last four months
for this team of two (has it been that long?), it has been easy for us to get
demoralized in one way or another, together or individually. For me, one strategy I have used in the
past, but try to use more consciously these days is simply thinking before speaking. It doesn’t always happen, but the
frequency is increasing. If Miki
asks something or makes a comment that begs a response, I quickly run through
my mind if what I want to say will help, be neutral, or hurt. It doesn’t always work because I am
judge and jury, but it makes me think twice about what comes out of my mouth
and it is not as hard as it may sound.
I try to consider all the variables…her mood, how she is feeling
physically, if we are in a rush…you name it. I am still a smart ass, but a calculating smart ass. That is one way I contribute to the
team.
We don’t have an
administrator, team leader, or manager that is over bearing or rarely present,
so we have to monitor our team of two and adjust on the fly. In situations where there is someone in
a leadership role and morale is not their forte, just like a team of two, start
with yourself and work your way outward, expanding your circle so your support
is in sync and you can be effective in whatever role you take on throughout
your day.
My team building takes place
as we learn to communicate a little better each day, we work on projects
together, and support each other in individual efforts. My morale boosters come in the form of
a smile, a thank you, a pat on the butt, and sometimes tears of happiness. Rarely do we both need a boost at the
same time, so the other one is there to pick up the load, but when we do, one
of us finds a way to pull the other one back up.
You can’t help but be changed
by this journey that we’re on.
Both of us coming at it from different perspectives sets us a part, but
the end goal brings us back together. At first glimpse you wouldn’t think you would find
anything good about this from either of our perspectives, but with time we can
look back and see the good that has come from it…in many different forms. No one should go through something like
this alone, just like no one should feel alone in the workplace. Have each other’s back and if the
morale is not boosted from the top down, then boost it from the bottom up.
My Zen from Home: What relationship do you
have with the word sneaky? From a teacher’s point of view, once
you associate that word with a child, a reputation is born. But just know that sneaky isn’t always a bad thing. For example, once in a while these last few months Jeff and
Nancy would sneak (literally) in to
our yard and weed the flowerbeds for us since it hasn’t been high on our
priority list. Well, this morning
Jeff took it upon himself to sneak
into our backyard once again, but this time he did so with the intent of setting
up the scaffolding I borrowed from him last evening around the tree house work
site. So as we were sitting in the
infusion room at the cancer center this morning, we get a text from Jeff with a
photo of his sneaky handy work with
the text, “Don’t you love it when things get done?” The simple answer is yes, sneaky.
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| The results of sneaky! |
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