Is it just a coincidence that the title of this
posting is an example of an idiom?
Yes. Do you think I would
try to incorporate two language arts lessons in a row…do I look like an idiom
to you? For whatever reason, this
expression found it’s way into my head and it seems to fit what I’ve been
mulling around for a while. With a
few computer keystrokes, I found one it’s possible origins. It seems to be most likely from the
1950's, when a British sitcom depicted an individual who lived in an apartment
beneath a man who worked nights. The
person in the lower apartment would be sound asleep when the tenant of the
upper apartment came home. The
tenant in the upper apartment would sit on the edge of the bed to take his shoes
off. The first shoe hit the floor
with a loud bang, awakening the sleeping tenant in the lower apartment. The groggy neighbor would remain awake
until he heard the other shoe drop. The tenant in the upper apartment would remember that he had
a sleeping neighbor below, and take the second shoe off and carefully place it
on the floor, making no noise. The groggy neighbor would then yell, "For
God's sake, drop the other shoe!"
In a sense, this is what I have been experiencing.
It seems expectations can be of help or a
hindrance on the path we are on…time will tell. The anticipation of Miki’s first chemo and radiation
treatments, this last week, came and went without fanfare. That worked out well, because who likes
fanfare when you are hooked up to an IV?
We have and continue to get anecdotal data from other’s experiences, but
we continue to go into this with the focus that this is Miki’s story being
written and it won’t be exactly like anyone else’s. But knowing the possible side effects to be prepared for that
others have experienced seems like it would be helpful, so as to not be caught
with our collective pants down…oops, sorry. I said I wouldn’t start throwing idioms around…I guess you
can’t teach an old-ish dog new tricks.
Even though it is early in Miki’s treatment, at
times it seems as though I am waiting for the side effects to show themselves
or as the title indicates…the other shoe to drop. It is Sunday night, the third day after chemo and the second
after radiation. Throughout the day
she has been sleepier than before, along with some new feelings that might fall
under the nausea umbrella, but nothing severe. I am seeing this as the soul of the “other shoe” getting
into position on its way down.
Again, time will tell.
Not that I know a lot about cancer treatments and
how people react to their bodies being challenged to extremes to gain their
health back, but I find myself watching her as she naps during the day and
wonder how she will be challenged in the coming weeks and months. It tears me up to see where my mind
goes, but I know that I need to stay on the same page she’s on. As much as I want to be on this journey
with her, it’s hers to live. I
can’t take the nausea away, I can’t take the crap out of how she feels, or
re-grow the white hair she loves (if and when it goes). I can’t feel what she feels. But I can dish out her medications, rub
her head and scratch her back, and push nutrition in one end while cheering it
out the other. I am not sure I
would want a crystal ball to foresee what is heading our way, but I am not
afraid of it either. Preparing for
the worst, but seeing the best.
What has been hard so far isn’t taking care of
everything under the roof from sun up to sun down, asking her to repeat
virtually everything she says (due to her higher pitched voice, thank you
meds), or flailing around the kitchen trying to actually cook something
edible. That stuff is easy. What is not, is seeing the effects of
the medications she is on, her once strong muscles less than what they were,
and that bed head she gets with her new hairdo…the bouffant is not back that I
know of. Unless chemo has some
tricks up it’s sleeve, when Miki kicks the pain caused by the pinched nerve to
the curb, chemo will be that much more bearable.
To end on a positive note…this experience so far
has us communicating more and you might say having more quality time. She is getting more head rubs and back
scratching than a new puppy. I am
taking care of the house and actually starting to enjoy parts of it…some
cleaning things…not so much. And
she is coming to grips with and letting go of me putting things where she
didn’t. To use one of her favorite
company names, Life is Good …it’s
what we’re doing.
My
Zen from Home:
Over the last few months this has been going on, the word miracle has
been brought up from time to time.
In hopes of Miki getting relief from the pain she has incurred and the
diagnosis revealed. Now I am not
one to brag, very often, but I recently cooked up a dish called Cozy Comfy Chicken and Rice from the
cookbook entitled, “The Cancer Fighting Kitchen.” I am not saying anything here, but that dish made her feel
better after she ate it and it is the first time in my cooking history that I
have used saffron as an ingredient, not a word sung as part of the lyrics in a
song called Mellow Yellow, by Donovan
in 1966. These seem to be fingers
pointing at a miracle, plus the fact I enjoyed creating it in the kitchen, not in
my woodshop. Miracles could be in
the eye of the beholder, like beauty.
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