No News Is…Well…No News

So what do you do while waiting for the pathology on a biopsy to be done?  Sounds like this could be an intro to a joke, but I could not come up with one, but others have, so here is one I thought was humorous…

Five doctors went duck hunting one day. Included in the group were a GP, a pediatrician, a psychiatrist, a surgeon and a pathologist.

After a time, a bird came winging overhead. The first to react was the GP who raised his shotgun, but then hesitated.

"I'm not quite sure it's a duck," he said, "I think that I will have to get a second opinion." And of course by that time, the bird was long gone.

Another bird appeared in the sky thereafter. This time, the pediatrician drew a bead on it. He too, however, was unsure if it was really a duck in his sights and besides, it might have babies. "I'll have to do some more investigations," he muttered, as the creature made good its escape.

Next to spy a bird flying was the sharp-eyed psychiatrist. Shotgun shouldered, he was more certain of his intended prey's identity. "Now, I know it's a duck, but does it know it's a duck?" The fortunate bird disappeared while the fellow wrestled with this dilemma.

Finally, a fourth fowl sped past and this time the surgeon's weapon pointed skywards. BOOM!! The surgeon lowered his smoking gun and turned nonchalantly to the pathologist beside him. "Go see if that was a duck, will you?"

So this helps me understand some of the jobs of the doctors I met at the hospital.  The pathologist does all the work figuring out what is causing things to happen (tissue diagnosis), kind of like a crime scene investigator.  So whatever was seen in the MRI that was concerning, a piece of it was taken (the biopsy) and the pathologist determines what it is, so it can be dealt with.  So we wait.

So what has happened that I haven’t shared with you yet?  The news that hasn’t made the news yet, if you will.  Are you ready?  We sold the “doghouse!”  If you have not been paying attention, the doghouse refers to our 5^th wheel trailer we bought to travel with the dogs.  It gave us plenty of room not to trip over one another while moving about inside it and gave us plenty of storage for traveling, including all the dog stuff, so it became known as the doghouse…not because it is where I would spend my time when my welcome was warn out around Miki.  That would be called Hell!  Just teasing Mik.

So yes, the doghouse is gone, to a lovely older couple from Junction City, KS.  The back story is, a couple of months ago now, we both came to the conclusion that our priorities have changed.  We have not made any attempt to try and find seasonal work at a national park, which we thought we might.  We have not been on the road for extended periods of time, which we thought we might.  And there are things we enjoy being “home” for that have made our traveling less extensive at this point.  Miki continues to enjoy her energy work with her clients and I enjoy being retired, which interprets to playing golf and anything else whenever I want.  When I put it that way, I sound like a bratty baby…but I guess I am good with that.

So how do you sell a 38’ home on wheels?  You look to the internet for clues.  I looked around for comparable trailers, prices, and other helpful pieces, like would I consider delivering it to the new owners?  So the waters were tested on Craigslist, since I knew not what I was doing.  It is pretty basic and not hard to list it with some photos, inside and out.  This was all done the week prior to Miki’s admittance into the hospital.

In my selling research (Craigslist and eBay), it became apparent I was not the only one trying to unload an RV.  There were pages and pages of others doing the same thing, so why would anyone want mine over another’s?  I was burrowing in for the long haul.  The first day we checked into the hospital, I got a call from a couple from Kansas, inquiring about our trailer, this is less than a week after I posted the ad on Craigslist.  I excused myself from the hospital room and went into the hallway to be alone, except for the patient monitors beeping and chirping about.  So I found myself on a gurney at the end of the hall, talking fiberglass, pin weight, and slide outs.  Remember, that morning brought us an MRI that got the doctors all excited, we were hurried off (sort of) to a hospital, and now I have turned into a salesman doing business on the 4^th floor of a hospital.  I am torn in two directions because I want to be with Miki as she settles into room 427 and yet I never thought I would get a serious buyer on the other end of my phone, let alone in less than a week.  They were coming to KC in a couple of days and would like to see it.  Fine.

The next day I get a call from the interested party from Kansas.  They were on their way to KC to see two other trailers they saw on Craigslist and wanted to see the trailer if it could be arranged.  I happened to be at home from the hospital tending to the dogs when I received the call.  They were 30 minutes out and while I wet my pants, I gave them directions to the house.

Now what I haven’t told you yet, is the trailer has been covered up since last November after we put it to bed, following our last trip.  It is parked next to the house in a somewhat tight spot that Miki has always helped me get in and out of.  Directing me, so as to not back over the fence, scrape the house, or take out our gas meter.  I am not going to relate this situation to those people that have been caught up in desperate times, when they exhibit superhuman qualities like strength to lift an automobile off of some poor sap that didn’t correctly support his car on jacks to start with, but what I did in 30 minutes to prepare my RV for showing was pretty impressive.  If to no one else, then to ME!

I climbed up on the trailer’s roof, after unbuckling the cover straps, thinking please don’t let me fall, only to become Miki’s next door neighbor in the hospital.  I threw off the cover to the side.  Hooked up the trailer to the truck.  Gingerly pulled it out without destroying the fence.  Parked it in the driveway and set it up for showing, just as they arrived.  Despite the fact I looked as though I’d just showered with my clothes on, I gave them the tour and then left them alone for a few minutes to marvel over our doghouse and snuck in to put on some fresh deodorant.  They seemed genuinely interested, but soon left to go see the other trailers on their list.

I showered and headed back to the hospital, as Miki has no clue what has just transpired.  She thinks I just went home to do dog stuff.  Shortly after arriving back at the hospital and bringing Miki up to speed, I get a phone call from my new Kansas friends and they make us an offer…we do the car sales “dance” for a minute…we come to an agreed price and we are soon to be doghouse-less.

They want to come back and get it Friday (it is now Wednesday…keep up) and they will wire the money to our bank.  Thursday morning I get a call from the new owners.  We get the money transfer details squared away and they are on their way to pick it up.  It is THURSDAY…I thought they were coming FRIDAY.  That is a 24 hour difference for me to get it ready, the stuff we are keeping out of it, and dig up the stuff we take out of it for the winter back into it.  Some of you remember my wife Miki, she is in the hospital.  I should be there with her!  But instead, I leave in the afternoon to head home and make this final.

I get home and say goodbye to the doghouse, just as the Kansans pull up with their big Dodge dually.  Since they have owned a 5^th wheel before, we hook it up, go over some operational trailer things and functions, bring the slide outs in, and raise the jacks that hold it off the ground. They rise as far as they will go (putting the weight on the truck) and they are still resting on the plastic blocks on the ground.  In other words, it is not ready to pull away, since the legs still have weight on the ground.  I start envisioning all kinds of things, like it being left in my driveway!  Cooler heads prevailed (his head actually) and he slowly pulls forward, as the jacks slide off of the plastic blocks they were sitting on and the weight now is totally on the trailer.  If you have no clue what was just described, all you need to know is…crisis averted!  I throw the plastic blocks in the belly of the trailer and the doghouse is off to it’s new home.  It’s funny, as many obstacles as the trailer threw in front of me, there is a small part of me that will miss that behemoth.

So after juggling trailer sales with hospital visits, I was able to settle down and focus on Miki.  I would not have chosen to have done it that way, but to have sold that thing in a few short days with the tons of other trailers available, we both feel very lucky and relieved that it is over and done with.  So the plan now is actually the original plan for traveling after retirement, which was to put our motorcycles in our trailer (an enclosed trailer we purchased a few years ago for this purpose), along with whatever other “toys” we want to travel with, and hit the road.

The real wait on the results has us just doing what we have been doing for the last two weeks.  Visiting with friends, emailing/blogging, napping, and yesterday we got out and took Miki’s wheelchair for a trial run.  Physical therapy wanted her to have one for being out and about, where walking would not be the best option, although she is very capable of doing just that.  It saved her energy and she was able to do errands for a couple of hours before crashing.  And I found out there is a learning curve for being the “motor” behind the wheelchair.  We hit Home Depot and we were able to get out of there without bringing down a single display.  I figured if we did I needed a backup plan.  The plan was to leave Miki sitting in the chair while I walked away, looking as if I didn’t know what that loud sound was coming from the next aisle over.  Genius, right?  Don’t ever underestimate a good backup plan.

The last attempt at passing the time was playing a little Cribbage last night.  I figured with her mind being a little foggy from the meds, I might stand a chance of winning (even though that has nothing to do with it).  That girl had winning cards from the get-go.  Double runs of 4, double runs of 5, pegging like crazy.  I did not get skunked, but it came pretty darn close.  I was glad for her to finish me off so we could go to bed.  Should have taken her get a Powerball ticket first!

At the beginning, I thought about saying “no news is good news,” but that really doesn’t fit here.  Having had this week at home, it was like time off for good behavior.  We kind of had a “normal” week, but that is not really normal right now.  And as each day has passed, I seem to be feeling the ominousness or gravity of meeting with the doctor when we will get the results of the biopsy from Miki’s left lung.  In Miki’s mind, she’s already on the road to recovery, but…. 

Oops, I almost went into the “what ifs.”  Not going there.  At least consciously. 

Hopefully the wait will be over at the beginning of next week.  We will find the culprit of Miki’s mystery and decide how to get after it.  If I hadn’t been busy taking care of Miki this week, it would have been a much longer week and the “what if” door could have been opened.  Miki has been putting out her daily drug tainted manifestos, so her time has not been idle.  Keep a good thought until no news becomes news.

My Zen from Home:   
Watch a sunrise.  The week Miki was in the hospital, I woke up early every morning (I know that is a stretch for some of you to believe), got my cereal, and watched the sunrise come up over the pond in the park behind our house.  There is a fountain in the middle, with bright colored sculptures of 3 kids playing in the park, sitting just above the water’s surface.  As the sun rises, the streams of water shooting upwards from the fountain and its spray become backlit, intensifying its brilliance.  And if I was really lucky, the heavy moisture hanging in the air would also take advantage of the light and give it that angelic, heavenly glow as the light streams through the tree branches in our backyard.  How can you not have good thoughts when watching a sunrise, even if your eyes aren’t quite all the way open yet!