My name is Wallie Montoya, you killed my tonsils, prepare to die…

Who gets their tonsils out 3 days before driving to the west coast, while assuming everything you read about the pain won’t happen to you?  This guy!!!  Yes my family, I pulled one over on you, but the jokes on me.  When you thought I sounded like I had a cold and I didn’t refute the idea…I had a little secret.

Over a year ago, I thought about the whole tonsillectomy idea (again) for just about every reason why they are taken out of ones body to begin with.  Over time, I felt as though they had gotten larger and just maybe if they went AWOL, I would benefit from not revisiting many of the common symptoms tonsils can reveal.  I found an ENT and scheduled the day…last Monday. 

In the meantime, I was doing a long-term sub job for a friend (that began with the first day of school), preparing for a road trip west, hoping for the best, and preparing for the worst with this tonsil removal idea.  Okay, I really didn’t prepare for the worst specifically…because even though people can share their post tonsillectomy pain experiences, I don’t think there is anything that could have prepared me.  And maybe if I ignore it, it will be fine.  Since Tonsil Day, I kept thinking about the movie, Princess Bride…(one of the best movies…evvvverrr!)

To the pain

Westley: To the pain means the first thing you will lose will be your feet below the ankles. Then your hands at the wrists. Next your nose.

Prince Humperdinck: And then my tongue I suppose, I killed you too quickly the last time. A mistake I don’t mean to duplicate tonight.

Westley: I wasn’t finished. The next thing you will lose will be your left eye followed by your right.

Prince Humperdinck: And then my ears, I understand let’s get on with it.

Westley: Wrong! Your ears you keep and I’ll tell you why. So that every shriek of every child at seeing your hideousness will be yours to cherish. Every babe that weeps at your approach, every woman who cries out, “Dear God! What is that thing,” will echo in your perfect ears. That is what to the pain means. It means I leave you in anguish, wallowing in freakish misery forever.

So that is where I am now, wallowing in freakish misery forever, or at least until I can swallow again and pound down gobs of food without tears, or any food without tears for that matter. 

Descriptions like, “swallowing razorblades” and…well, “swallowing more razorblades” are the only descriptions I have to share, but I continue to hold out that The Pain will subside and gobs of food will be pounded down once again.  Until then, the bubbling in my intestines from the lack of food reminds me, its not over til it’s over.  And according to the source of all info, the internet, it’s a com’in!  So, I hang on to the knot I’ve tied to the end of my rope.  To be continued.

Beth and I set out for a long awaited housesit in California, close to my sister Betty, the Thursday after that little tonsil thing above.  The first day was so reminiscent of the numerous trips to Colorado in recent years, or at least until we got up early on the second day and drove another 700 miles to Vegas, and then another half day to the coast, a few hours north of LA.  Our bums are happy to not be bearing the weight during more road time, so as we settle in, I’ll let you digest your empathy for me and my pain as Beth and I become Los Osos’ns…or what not.

My Zen from the Road:  Pain is a funny thing (funny in the none funny sense of the word).  Maybe not so much funny as it is relative.  Anyway, we all experience it.  Some more emotional, some more physical, and so on and so on.  This whole tonsil pain, though not constant, seems constantly there.  At least it doesn't hurt unless I swallow, at least in my short experience at it.  Did you know that (according to my Google research for the last two minutes) an average adult swallows anywhere between 600 - 2000 times a day?  Lets say, for my purposes, that it is a mere 100 times a day.  Each of those 100 times is almost too much for me to bear, until I come back to that "relative" thing.  My little swallowing pain, which seems almost impossible to bear, is probably insignificant to those with "real" pain, caused from who knows what horrendous source.  I think of that frequently...600-2000 times a day...and it makes it possible for me to quickly grimace and bear it one more time, cause my pain-less time is coming and there's may not.

Some random photos from the 1800 mile trek to the Golden State

Leaving Kansas City bright and early, we were treated to a little sunrise that
said..."Good luck with those tonsils, buddy!"

Our horse and wagon for this trek across country.  Taking a break in Kansas.

Some western Kansas eye candy!

Leaving Colorado behind, Utah's landscape became more of a moonscape.
Still eye-catching, but not in the Colorado sense.

Lots of colors in the landscape palette, as we head southwest to Vegas.

A rest stop view.

A small wildfire!  Probably no such thing as a "small" wildfire.

First view of downtown Vegas as we get close in on our first AirBnB experience.

Solar Power just after crossing the California border.  Three of these ginormous
mirrored fields, all pointing to the solar collector tower that I am guessing you
should not look directly at the tower...even from miles away, while driving.

We came across this small area, yet highly densely populated with these old
"grasshopper" oil well pumps.  Looked like a race to see who could get the
oil out first.

Two and a half days of being grateful I was not a pioneer back in the day, we
stand with the Pacific lapping at our ankles.  Made it!